Adoption Foreign, Domestic, Open, Closed, Foster???

Here is the little Russian orphan that God took Breck and I to in Astrakhan, Russia 2003. This little guy was a curious healthy little guy that never smiled when we first met. I remember a flood of emotions and not feeling needed by this little guy that was pretty self sufficient. I also remembering having to continue forward in faith believing that this is exactly who God had picked to be our little boy and Jared's little brother. He was cute and his cheeks were chubby and he was content to take a cookie but he didn't seem to need me. God never allowed fear to set in and we just proceeded like we knew exactly what we were doing. There are lots of horror stories about adoptive children with all sorts of problems but we never bought into all that nor did we do a lot of reading about the what ifs. We may have been naive or stupid but honestly we had prayed for God to add to our family and just felt like this is where he was leading us.

I'm not sure of the exact timeline but on one of Breck's trips to Russia for a mission trip on the way back he sat next to a family that was travelling home with their adopted child. He did start some preliminary inquiry into Russian adoption but we didn't pursue anything. In 2002 I had a miscarriage around Easter and we had been trying to get pregnant for awhile. In October of 2002 we got contacted by Crisis Pregnancy because they have a Native American Gal who is due in December and is looking for adoptive parents but they have to have a CDIB card (certificate degree of indian blood). I have one so we thought this must be God's plan so we got our paperwork all together and met this young gal and even went to her Dr.'s appointments. After about 6 weeks or so she changed her mind and we were heartbroken. In June of 2003 I sat next to a gal in church that works for an adoption agency and she showed me a picture of the little girl they were adopting from India. I came home and Breck and I started another discussion and felt like foreign adoption was something to pursue. I think because of the big losses Breck had experienced and the failed open adoption we felt like foreign adoption just seemed like more of a sure thing without disappointment.

Recently there was a story on one of the news stations that there was a group of Russian orphans in town in the hopes of finding families. Breck stumbled on to the story and wondered if God was talking to him so I did call and inquire. The information I found out was very interesting but also very very very expensive. Yesterday I had lunch with a sweet friend and they recently adopted through the foster care system so I asked tons of questions and she was gracious to answer them all. So now I am wondering is God talking? I know there are lots and lots of kids that are out there that need a safe place to grow up with a Mom and Dad that will love and protect them but I don't know if that's us. I know another family that had two boys and added a little girl to their family through the foster system.

I recently met a teenage foster child that was precious and sweet. It did start me thinking that maybe not all kids in Foster care have horribly deeply rooted problems. Fear of the unknown, fear of my life changing, fear of time demands changing, fear of what kind of problems a foster child would have, fear of what a new child would do to my kids. Lots of unknowns and how do you know that you know that it is the right thing? I know that we have a 5 bedroom house and use 2 bedrooms because we all share a room; Breck and I, Jared and Griff. What kind of child would God want us to add? How old would the child be? Should our kids be older before we added anyone? What to do? Nothing? Inquiry? Crazy I know but this is just what is on my mind today. I am content with my boys and don't feel like I need more but I also don't want to miss out on what God might want us to do.

I know God's word does say: James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted to the world.

What does that mean? I know there are lots of ways to take care of widows and orphans besides taking them into your home. I'm not sure what this all means. I do know how grateful I am that we listened to God and got blessed with the addition of Griff. He is such a joy and delight and how truly truly happy I am that I get to be his Momma! I heard a sermon a few weeks ago where the Pastor said God does His best work when you think He didn't show up! Thank you God for Griff!

Maybe it's nothing but maybe it's something! I'll keep you posted and any prayers our way would be appreciated.