Baby Girl is 12 Today!

Twelve years ago God breathed life into our Tori! HE created her so wonderfully complex! His workmanship is marvelous-how well we know it. Psalms 139:14
On this day we want her to know: 

 YOU are LOVED and of GREAT VALUE you have a SAVIOR that laid down HIS life for YOU

HEADS will turn for you not just because they like what they see on the outside but because YOUR BEAUTY pours out from YOUR HEART

YOU  have a FAMILY that LOVES YOU and WANTS ONLY GOOD THINGS FOR YOU

YOU ARE CHRIST'S WORKMANSHIP CREATED IN HIS IMAGE TO DO GOOD WORKS 

We celebrate you Torta and just want you to know how much you are LOVED!!!!!

About a "regular" boy

Alex and I were at an appointment and the gal asked Alex to tell her about her siblings and so she began with Tori. "Tori is my half sister and she has always been with me before we were adopted" she then said "Griffin was born in Astrakhan Russia and he's adopted too" then there is "Jared he's just regular".  We all laughed thinking how funny that was since it appeared that his entrance to the family seemed to be nothing out of the ordinary.  There was no long battle story of mounds of paperwork or court appearances or International travel or of a battered life.  Jared's beginnings were just ordinary.

When I entered the world of adoption it has always been important to me that every one of my children think their story is special and unique.  So what is Jared's story, how do we go from "regular" to something that is "special"?

What seems to be more and more true is Jared's beginnings are becoming less the norm.  Jared was born into our family and received all of the love and attention every child should have.  There are tons of pictures of Jared marking all of his major milestones from birth! Jared was the only child for four years so he experienced and was exposed to so many wonderful adventures. He was loved and protected from the beginning. No one who posed a threat ever got close.  Jared was never abandoned, never went hungry and never lived in fear. He had good things and always expected good things. Every accomplishment Jared achieved was celebrated. Oh how I wish all my children were just "regular" and had their beginnings just as Jared did.

I do think Jared was given something very special and that is his heart! He loves big and his heart is turned to God.  Jared prayed for a little brother and in 2003 that prayer was answered.  When we were approached in 2009 about adding to our family it was Jared that said I don't think God is asking us to add anymore boys to our family. God added two girls!

Jared turns 14 on Friday and because he is "regular" I had a lot of pictures to choose from to make this video. 

Brave

There are all sorts of examples of bravery in our world and I just have to tell you about the most recent example of bravery I had the privilege of witnessing.  I'm not sure what the results will be with these acts of bravery but I do know that God is using it and lives are going to be changed because a few kids showed remarkable courage.

Our Church had a service Sunday morning devoted to the  plight of the orphan and children in foster care.  If you know anything about our family you know we consist of one bio kid and three adoptees.  I once made the comment to someone that I didn't want our family to be the face of adoption to our Church and was immediately told "you are the face of adoption to our Church".  I guess there is no getting around that since we have never kept adoption a secret in our family but I had wanted our children to be the ones to put that out there if that's what they wanted to do. Anyways we got contacted about doing cardboard testimonies about how adoption had touched or changed our lives.  Let me tell you I was ready to throw the kids out there in front but Breck and I didn't really feel like we had a cardboard testimony that anyone could cheer about.  The cardboard testimonies I have seen have gloom on the first side and then JOY on the other side and everyone cheers.  Well our lives were not gloom before we adopted and they certainly aren't all JOY now that we have adopted.

I spoke with the kids and asked them if they would be willing to do a cardboard testimony about adoption and we talked about what they might want to say.  They were all eager to participate except for our one bio kid.  Jared felt like since he wasn't adopted his part of the story wasn't important.  After all he wasn't adopted so what could he possibly say that would be worth cheering about.  Don't we all feel that way about our lives?  How could anything I have to say make a difference?  We assured him that his part in the story was critical to their story.  Jared's heart is open to God's call and has been from an early age.  When we brought Griffin home and said this is your little brother Jared's little face lit up with JOY!  I still remember those two meeting for the first time in the airport.  How precious it was when Jared asked me if they were twins.......they were brothers bonded together for life by God.  When the possibility of adopting two more children into our family came up we didn't tell the boys anything but asked them to be praying and asking God if He wanted us to add anymore children to our family.  Nine days later Jared came and told me He didn't feel like God was asking us to add anymore boys to our family at this time and so I asked him....what about girls?......he said he didn't know about that but definitely not boys.  What an incredible heart God has given Jared!

As we sat there together trying to come up with the slogans for the cardboard testimonies I wanted them to be flowery and poetic.  You know carefully selecting the words that would characterize their journey of Beautiful Adoption, but you see it's not that easy because there is a lot of pain involved in Adoption.  Griffin wanted his to say from a unknown loving Mom and Dad to a known loving Mom and Dad.....but I couldn't write those words for him so I tried to steer him to Song less in Russia and now Heart full of Song which he gladly accepted.  Adoption is filled with pain....Adoption takes time to heal.....Adoption isn't easy......and Adoption doesn't really fit on a cardboard testimony.  We came up with some other slogans like "Fatherless and Motherless to now baby in a complete family"  and Alex offered up Beaten but I immediately cut her off and said oh no we don't want to say that.  We'll be honest but let's not be raw......

I emailed their flowery cardboard testimonies off and got a response back...."these are great what about yours and Breck's?"  Wasn't that enough?  Breck and I really had to do one?  This wasn't going to be so easy because we weren't willing to stand in front of our Church and lie. I finally sat down and asked God what should we say?  What's the truth God and what does the Church need to see?  What can we ask of our children?  I asked God to give me confirmation through Breck and the kids.  The words I had written were raw and painful did my kids really understand what they would be holding up?  Would this make them outcasts to their peers?  Could God use their stories to help a child and maybe even an older child get placed with a family?  Breck thought the kid's were spot on and liked some of the ones I had for us.  The kids without any hesitation agreed to theirs.  Still had the one hold out who didn't think his part was worth anything but he said o.k. too.

The Sunday morning we arrived with our cardboard testimonies no one knew what they were going to say because I didn't email the revisions.  I did tell Andrea I had changed them and they were pretty raw.  I also told Michelle and she said that was o.k. the Church needed to see raw.  I t was hard to stand before our Church and show them our wounds but they responded in LOVE!  Our hold out said he asked God to show him how he fit in all of this and God answered him so he was happy to be a part.  I was so proud of each one of our kids as they walked to the front of our church and held up their cardboard testimonies.  They saw the tears being shed but I'm not sure they really understood the magnitude of their actions.  I'm certain that God is going to use their bravery to change our Church.  I have heard from one family that said they have been considering fostering/adopting and this had made an impact.

I asked the kids if anyone came up to them after and they said yes a lot except for our hold out......he said the people were hugging the three but no one really came up to him except those Hester girls!  Oh friends if you do read this will you please not forget the biological children in a family of adoptees?  You see they are just as important to the story God is writing.....if Jared didn't have the heart he has I'm not sure there would be 4.  Each person in a family that has opened their hearts and home to foster children or adopted children is very important so let's not ever over look them.  Jared's lack of acknowledgement didn't really affect him because he had heard from God. 

Thanks for stopping by.

P.S.  I may try to do a little video of our portion of the cardboard testimonies so you can see at least our family's part.  There were some other families involved too and I wish I had the entire video to post but not sure the Church will be able to put that out for viewing.

Education/Political Hoopla

Yes I do want the best education for my children. How come governments are not run efficiently and effectively? Why do people who want to serve the public as elected officials not tell the truth? Why do the political ads have to cut down their opponents? Isn't there something really wrong with the way we do government? If businessmen ran their companies the way our State is run would they be out of business?

The t.v. is full of political ads. Who created the SQ744? I just read an article from the Tulsa World and it doesn't sound like it came out of the Education arena. It sounds like SQ744 would do more harm to education than it would help. We need a Lee Iaccoca for our Educational System, didn't he put Chrysler back on the map?

I know you're use to my rantings about my family but tonight I'm riled up about the insanity of education. Why can't someone smarter than me figure out what to do to make a good quality education available to all and everyone given opportunities to fulfill their dreams?

Jared's little football team played a North Tulsa Team that is coached by volunteers not even the Dads of any of the kids while our team is coached by about 10 Dads all with a kid on the team. Tulsa Public Schools has a bad reputation so is sports their ticket out?

I just want the truth when someone wants me to vote yes. Is that too much to ask? Why can't we get all the political rhetoric out and just have the facts like what it will do and what it won't do. Trust people with the truth not with what you need people to believe so they'll vote the way you want them to. I thought government was for the people and by the people somehow I think we've gotten a long way away from that. Ugh!

Thanks for stopping by!

Adoption? Foster Care?

I just read on promoteokadoption.blogspot.com the staggering statistics of children here in Oklahoma that are in our foster care system. 4,628 CHILDREN Can you believe that?

As I read those statistics I take a look at my family and wonder what God might want to do through us. If you know us you know that we adopted Internationally and then in the last year we adopted two girls that would have gone into Foster Care if an adopted family had not been found for them. Maybe I can say we've done our part, come on you other people get with the program....but I'm not sure if we have done all we can do or all we need to do?

I just asked Breck if we should become Foster Parents and without hesitation he said NO! Jared said "That would be Fun!" Hmmm, Fun? Challenging? Work? Rewarding? Obedient? I don't know, I really don't know. I would tell you I don't feel like I'm doing all that great a job with what God has already given us. So the thought of adding more children to the mix, uh, I don't know.

Does God only call a few to look after widows and orphans? If we take the bible the whole bible I'm not sure looking after widows and orphans is only for a few folks. I know all of our gifts are different and the bible clearly says that but does it say only some are given the responsibility of looking after widows and orphans. Somehow I don't think so I think we all have a call.

I am reading Francis Chan's latest book Forgotten God and let me just tell you it is challenging me. What should I look like to the world being full of the Holy Spirit? Shouldn't I look dramatically different than a non believer? Are all the Foster Parents Holy Spirit Filled Christians? I certainly hope not since there is a lot of press about abusive foster homes. What would the Foster Care System look like if all of the Foster Parents were filled with the Holy Spirit? That is something to ponder, isn't it?

I don't know where the Holy Spirit is leading me but I feel compelled to go. Is it enough to go to a group home once a month and feed the orphans a meal? Is it enough to pray for the orphans? Am I being asked to do more? Didn't God take me in? I don't have any answers or do I?

Does my family need to be the face of adoption to my church? to my community? I do know that reading those statistics has stirred something within me. I want to be obedient! I want to be faithful! I want to be filled and lead by the Holy Spirit! I want to bring Glory to God! I want my life to be a reflection of His love! I don't want people to wonder if I belong to God! I want their to be a Dramatic Difference between me and a non-believer!

That's what's on my mind today!

Thanks for stopping by!

Parenting 5009

O.K. it's titled that way because we need a Master's Degree in parenting. Whooo Wheee! We've got a little newly turned 9 year old that would just rather lie to you then tell you the truth. We are kind of at our wits end as to what to do.

I wish I understood why she lies. I wish I knew what to do to make her stop. I wish she would embrace the truth. We have tried lots of different approaches and some that have made me cry. It is mind boggling at times especially when she lies about stupid stuff. I'm talking things that don't matter. Why? When telling the truth would be just as easy? It really doesn't make any sense to us.

I have a friend and she shared with me that she told lots of lies when she was younger because she wanted people to like her. She also told me when I share my stories with her about our youngest it brings back memories of her childhood of things she did. Breck has told me that he believes there is a big discrepancy in what Tori wants you to believe about her and what she really believes about herself. Oh how I wish the light bulb would go off in her head and she would understand that the truth is always the best way.

If only she would understand what it means to walk in the truth and the freedom she would experience. It's got to be so draining to tell one lie after another. I pray that she gets caught in every lie she tells and suffers the consequences. I've asked her brothers and sister to pray for her and I've told Tori to ask for God's help. She is not strong enough to overcome this habit she has established. I wish she could fast forward her life to see what will happen if she doesn't change this pattern of lying. We are not able to paint her a strong enough picture to get her to stop the lying.

Wednesday she will not go to the fair with the rest of the family..........Oh how I pray something will click for her!

Thanks for stopping by!

Where Have I Been?

You all have Becki to thank for this one, I think I forgot I ever started a blog but she stumbled on it and posted a comment and asked for more! :)

I didn't take the time to look and see the last time I posted but I know it's been awhile. They say "life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans" We have been experiencing life. I think it has taken me a little while to get my feet under me from having 4 children. I also think the last time I posted I didn't have my church job so alot has been going on.

Let's just talk about today shall we, then we'll see if this blog post is a flash in the pan or if I might be updating more regularly.

Today I did a garage sale with one of my sweet friends from church and let's just say she is a professional. I on the other hand am not but I was up at 6:00 a.m. to get to her house and help get everything set up. You know they say one man's trash is another man's treasure, well it is certainly true. Let me just tell you I did not have a lot of quality stuff. Some might have even called it junk.....however in a matter of 5 hours I made $105.25. Those purchases were not made by selling big ticket items , no sirrreee that came from 3 for 0.25 items or 0.25 items possibly there might have been a few $1.00 or $2.oo items. A lot of treasures were moved. Now if you were to come into my house and go upstairs to my children's playroom you would not believe that anything had been taken out but they did indeed part with a few items.

My sweet friend can't have just one weekend of garage selling so it is on again for next weekend! Ugh! Really? I'm not sure I can do it again. It was hot today and in a garage there wasn't a whole lot of air moving but we managed to keep smiling and making sure every customer went away satisfied with their treasures!

After the garage sale I had to get out to the football field and see Jared play. Did I mention it was hot today? OMG! I'm sitting here now and still sweating. He played great and his team finally won their first game so their record is 1 and 2! He was awarded the Defensive Player of the Game! Now his sisters should have been awarded the best water gals! They worked their tails off running to fill up water bottles, running bottles out to the team and spraying them down with a sprayer! Did I mention how hot it was? They just did an awesome job so I have no doubt the reason for the win was the team was well hydrated due to the Ryker Girls. Some of you might be asking what about Griff? Well let's just say he got a little distracted with bugs and cheerleaders!

What a great win for the team today. Now I've got 3 showering so we can go eat and catch a movie while Breck and Jared are racing to OSU for a football game. My niece will be announced at half-time at the game because she made Top Ten Freshman at OSU! Quite an honor, and I do have to say she is outstanding!

O.K. I've got to hit the shower and get my other 3 moving! Thanks for stopping by and I'll try to do a better job of catching everyone up!