What's the Difference Between Girls and Boys

I have now officially been the Mother of boys and girls for 7 months and have a couple of observations to share. Those of you who only have boys or only have girls don't get to fully understand the differences and those of you who've been raising girls and boys together might have also missed out on the subtle differences.

I used to be the Mother of boys and understood the rambunctiousness and the daring feats but didn't appreciate their "lack of caring attitude". I realize I might be making some rash generalizations but this has been my experience. When I say "lack of caring attitude" I mean my boys don't care about their hair, what they wear, what food they eat, where we go, or when we go. They don't ask a lot of questions and seem to just comply whenever they're told time for dinner they just show up without asking "what's for dinner?" and when we're leaving to go somewhere they don't ask a lot of questions about where we're going or how long we'll be gone or what we are going to be doing. There isn't a lot of opportunity for them to make a fashion faux pas since it's kind of hard to mess up jeans and a t-shirt.

Now that I have girls I get questions...not just an occasional question...we're talking lots of questions! I knew it seemed to me that I was always annoyed these days and couldn't figure it out until I realized this subtle difference between boys and girls. For 10 years I have been the only female in the family thus the only one asking questions and the only one seemingly who cares. No one was asking me any questions and now suddenly I have two little girls who care. They can't help it, it is by nature they need to know as much information as possible. Tori came into the kitchen just the other night to ask "what's for dinner" but begin to preface with "oops I know you'll get annoyed if I ask..." I had just had the epiphany of the question gene being a part of being a girl so I just embraced her asking questions and promptly set both she and Alex down and explained to them my awakening. We girls just have to know what...where...when....how...and why? It's a part of how we're wired so the annoyance level in me has gone down considerably. We girls also have control issues and that just goes hand in hand with our quest to have all our questions answered. I think this might be why Mom's of boys have the bad rep of the dreaded Mother-n-law. I understand now because our boys marry girls we do battle for control with them! ugh! I'm going to try and remember this so I'm not the dreaded Mother-n-law.

Boys also don't have a lot of fashion no nos they can make I mean they have jeans, shirts, and one pair of tennis shoes so not a lot to go wrong with. My boys are old enough to dress themselves so the only fashion don't we have is something being too wrinkled to wear. The only hair issue we have is it sticking up so you use a little water to wet it down. Occasionally hair gel goes in but it is not a constant. Girls on the other hand have lots of things that can go South on them. Both the girls are letting their bangs grow out......we have the hair must be out of the eyes issue.....Alex likes the funky but has difficulty putting looks together......Alex also has accessories to add to her fashion and she's my trend chaser......Tori usually does a pretty good job of dressing herself because she's more of your Gap girl.....Tori also likes to look like the older girls and makes it her business to notice what the teenagers are wearing, especially how they wear their hair.

Oh and hair, perhaps that should be it's own post. Every morning we have to get the hair fixed and the right bow or head band in place. I made them quite a few of the big flower clips and they love wearing those! Score one for Mom!! I have to say that my girls don't complain how I fix their hair or throw a fit if I tell them they have to go change. They both are so compliant and don't give me any attitude which I absolutely love. They really are the sweetest and most precious little girls that just want to please. I have to remind myself of this when I'm flabbergasted that Alex just came down the stairs in a little summer top with her tattoo choker, skinny jeans and black fringed boots and it is 20 degrees outside....because it's winter! If I'm honest here I do remember looking back at some old pictures of me and wondering what was I thinking with some of my clothes choices. I want to let both the girls express their style so I'm trying to loosen up a little but sometimes I just have to step in, I can't stand it.

Let me end on all the beautiful things girls add to our family......girls love to play make believe and sing and dance and perform......girls are interested in helping in the kitchen (one more than the other).......girls can find things (Alex is fantastic at this one).......and I believe all of our lives are richer because we all have each other. The boys feel the freedom to play the make believe and explore the creative arts of singing and dancing. So in the words of someone famous I'm sure...."It is a Win Win for all!" I'm thankful God made boys and girls different!

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Happy New Year!

These are the maniacs that came to our house Christmas Eve during the Blizzard!

My Babies above and below, above also my niece!

I know, can you believe it? Here it is 2010 and my last post was October 2009 or somewhere around then. We've had Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years!

I'll try to bring you up to date without boring you. Life is full with our "Ryker Party of 6". Thanksgiving we went to Uncle Joe and Aunt Janet's home and the kids got to play and run around with Breck's side of the family. Christmas and New Years we were home celebrating! We decided to start a new tradition by staying home Christmas day and going over to my folks the day after. We absolutely love it and enjoyed our day so much more. There was no pressure to be anywhere at anytime and so we just hung out. I highly recommend this new little tradition. Christmas Eve we always have friends come over after our Christmas Eve service and just hang out.....eat food....let the kids go wild upstairs.....and celebrate with a Happy Birthday Jesus Cake. Well this year the blizzard came in so our Christmas Eve service was cancelled and many could not make it. We did have some folks come though and let's just say we are so thankful they made it back to their homes safely that night. It was horrible weather and the truth was no one should have been out but some of our friends just don't have the good sense to stay out of the weather....we loved it though! I had a lot of food left over and a big Happy Birthday Jesus cake that didn't get all the way eaten.

We are now in January and the kids are back in school! We just got progress reports and everyone is doing great! Alex is on the Principal's Honor Roll and is thrilled, which we are too! Jared continues to be a strong student. Griffin got rewarded for good behavior and got to eat with his teacher. Tori is managing to stay on green since it is tied to her being able to cheer! :) Hey you got to use whatever works to encourage them to do their best.

All the kids are doing Upwards....Alex, Jared and Griff are doing basketball and Tori is cheering. Jared is still a little steamed about Tori cheering and not playing basketball.....he doesn't get it! I'm sure this is just the beginning of a whole lot of stuff he won't get about girls. All of the kids seem to love what they are doing and are having a great time. Griffin is the only one that is doing two activities... he does gymnastics and has participated in two meets. He is doing great and we are very proud of him.

We do have a new addition to the family....a guinea pig named Sasha, Griff's pet! Larry our greyhound and pet for 8 years died in October. It was really hard on the boys and mostly Griffin. Griff seems to be our biggest animal lover so Santa equipped him to house a guinea pig, so after Christmas we went to PetSmart and he got to pick out his little darling. I never thought I would have a rodent in my house by choice but I do and she is kind of cute! :)

I'll try to update a little more frequently since I know some of you out there are interested in what's happening at our place!

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"Super" is the theme!

Wowzer where does the time go? I just looked to see I missed the whole month of September and most of August and half way through October now. Let me first just say life is Super on so many levels, Super-Fun, Super-Busy, Super-Exciting, Super-Annoying.....you get the idea. Everything is times 4!!!

We just got back from a trip to MarVal where the kids got to get magical pumpkins, paint them and go trick or treating! We had a blast with family and friends. There were about 14 families there at camp we knew, which makes it really fun. Everyone has someone to play with and I mean everyone! We left on Thursday and stayed until Sunday. Saturday we had to jet to Muskogee so Jared could play in his football game and I'm happy to report Chrome won! He was Super-Excited!

Right before we left for Fall Break we had teacher conferences so I had 4 Super-Conferences! Alex our oldest won best behaved! Really her teachers had so many nice things to say about her, how hard she works, how kind she is , how she gets along with everyone, how badly she wants to do well. Alex's teachers looooovvve her so much they tell me she just crawled right into their hearts and are just thrilled to have her this year! Alex is doing a special reading class twice a week and her homeroom teacher believes she will be at grade level by the time she leaves intermediate! That would just be Super-Awesome!

Jared our next oldest would win for best grades! His greatest struggles are taking his time and doing his work neatly. His teacher looped so she knows him and holds him to a high level of responsibility. Jared is working on the recycling crew which the teacher told me is one of the toughest jobs because they go all around the school and outside so she picked him to do that because she knew he could be trusted. His teacher looooovvvvves him as well. This too is Super-Awesome!

Griffin our next would win for most adorable! He does work very hard but is so easily distracted. He was diagnosed with ADHD and has taken medication but the one that really works also was stunting his growth so we've been trying another med and it doesn't seem to work as well. His teachers looooovvvvvve him too because he is so darn cute! He did tell me that some of the kids don't really appreciate his singing, apparently he sings to himself all the time and it's Super-Annoying to the kids around him. I have worked with his Special Ed teacher to get him some help in testing so we'll see how that works this week for him on his math test. I kind of thought he would not be my academic one but more my creative arts child but his teacher seemed to be a little offended by that and made sure I understood she felt like he could be an academic one! So that sounded Super-Exciting to me!

Tori our baby would win for most helpful/controlling! Oh that girl she is a little tooo helpful with wanting to just help everyone no matter if that's not what the teacher is wanting or not. I do think she's gotten better. I think she'll end up having really good grades if I can just help her understand she does not know everything and will have to study and not be in everyone elses business! She is a take charge kind of gal kind of like the Alpha dog.....look out or she'll run over you! She is doing well in math but needs to work on her reading comprehension! I have know doubts she'll do great this year! Her teacher looooovvvvves having her in class which is Super-Great to hear!

So all of the conferences were Super-Encouraging! All 4 have different gifts and talents! I think Jared and Tori are most alike in many ways and I see many battles for them ahead with each other. Griffin and Alex are somewhat alike but they're not fighters they're lovers! So our home is always Super-Exciting no two days are ever the same. To help all the kids with their comprehension I have started reading a book to them. A speech pathologist told me that was the best way to improve their comprehension and that you should read to your children until they are 14. I have a ways to go since it will be 6 more years before my last one is 14!

We have a gal from Sunday School that is working on getting her teaching degree so she is using Griffin and Tori's writings for one of her classes. It gives them a chance to work on their writing and it helps her out so a Super-Win for all!

Jared is playing football, Alex and Tori are taking ballet, jazz and hip-hop dance classes and Griffin is taking gymnastics and hip-hop! I just signed up Alex, Jared and Griffin for a Show Choir Camp after school next week with a performance on the night of the 29th! We are hosting our 6th Annual Costume Carnival on the driveway this Saturday from 3 to 6 p.m. Please come by in costume with a bag of candy to share if you're in town! So like I said when I started this post life is Super-Busy but also Super-Fun!

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In Awe! He just keeps showing up!

I just can't believe how God just continues to blow me away. On Sunday we were asked to reflect on our life with God and our relationship with Jesus and what He had done for us. We were taking communion, something we don't do weekly at our church but a few times a year. As I sat there and just thought about how God has shown up for me in so many ways recently I began to grieve what I must have missed out on, because I know He hasn't changed.

Trusting God with it all now is the most thrilling and exciting way to live. Everyday I feel like I have a front row seat of watching God at work on our family's behalf. I think before I would have to say I was in the balcony on the last row so I couldn't see very clearly and too busy trying to make sure I had everything under control......not relying on God but relying on myself. What a waste.

So here I am on Tuesday of this week starting the 5:30 a.m. BootCamp in the park or so I thought, turned out it started Thursday....oh well....had an appointed time with a gal who feels that God may be calling her family to open their hearts and home to adoption. I was able to share with her about our story and how I know God just wants me to trust Him with it all and I don't have all the answers. I told her about peoples questions of how do you afford this or that and feeling confident in saying I don't know but we're just trusting God and know that He will not disappoint. One of her last comments to me was it makes you just want to say "What are you going to do today God?" Of course I agreed, indeed it does!

Now that in itself is cool and we could say good job God but He didn't stop there. I'm in the car listening to the radio and the D.J. announces ......to the 4th caller she's going to give 4 tickets to the Big Event happening at the Tulsa Air and Space Museum. My cell phone is laying there so I figure why not...I dial the number....it's ringing so I figure I dialed the wrong number but then Heather answers "This is Heather with KXOJ who am I talking with?" I give her my name and her reply "Your the 4th caller" Are you kidding me? Shut up! No I am not! My response is just "Oh my gosh" I know not the best response I really wish I would have said "shut up" but I've never been a real quick thinker. Yes God gave us 4 tickets to the TASM Defender Fly In. Crazy I know.

Girls are enrolled in school so I went to their schools yesterday to try and get an appointment with the principals or counselors before they get placed in a class to give some background. I wasn't successful at really talking with anyone but was able to leave a note and get a phone number. Well guess who was at the official start of BootCamp this morning at 5:30 a.m.? Yes indeed the counselor at the elementary I need to talk to. I mean really......I of course go up put my arm around her and tell her I need to talk to you and she said I heard that so I'll call you on your cell a little later today once I get in. I then ask her if she knows anyone at Intermediate and tells me to talk to the Principal and she'll make a call. Wowzer! I am blown away!

I know incredible right? Well that's not all He did at BootCamp this morning....nope....one of the instructors is a gal who is adopted and she tells me a little of her story. (I know her mother) She says that kids are resilient and they know love. She said that she and her sister were always made to feel special and knew they were loved, adopted was not a bad word. She loves that she is adopted and doesn't have any feeling of lacking anything by not knowing much about her natural mother. I was so encouraged by her saying love makes up for a multitude of things. Wowzeee! God is just amazing!

I don't want to take any of this for granted but want to continue being in awe of God at work in our lives! He amazes me everyday and continues to strengthen my trust in Him. He is soooo trustworthy and He does not want us trying to navigate this life without Him. I admit it is scary at first when you step out in obedience but this has got to be the most thrilling. It is just so cool knowing that God is in control and I know that doesn't mean it will all be rosy and perfect. If you never get out of the boat you are going to miss seeing God at work. It is awesome!

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Free Zoo Day Who Knew?

Well friends God continues to take care of us and provide. Breck had this great idea to all load up and go to the zoo this morning. We all got around and I packed some snacks and even some of those little mixes you can put in your water to flavor. You know trying to save some money any way we can. We load up and off to the zoo we went.

Had to make a quick stop at QT to get a little cash so we could have some drinks get water out of the vending machines around the zoo. When we were on the highway there was a little bit of traffic headed the same way we were going and one of the kids made the comment that there sure were a lot of folks going to the zoo. Breck and I assured them that we were a ways from the zoo so we couldn't be sure all these folks were going to the zoo. We get into the park and there is a lot of traffic.

We just couldn't figure out why there was so much traffic. As we got closer Breck dropped us off and as we waited for him to get back after parking I perused the crowd and guessed it must be free to get in the zoo today. The woman at the gate confirmed our thoughts....indeed it was free to get in the zoo today. Of course we immediately were grateful that once again God had provided without us even being aware. Now please don't think we're horrible but if we had known it was free day at the zoo there is no way we would ever have gone to the zoo on the free day. We would have thought the crowds would have been too much for us and not wanted to battle all the people. You know it was crowded but not unmanageable and we had a great time!

Breck and I couldn't figure out how all these people knew it was free to get in the zoo today and we didn't know. Of course I'm not surprised I didn't know but usually my husband is up on current events. We all had a great time and only a few injuries....Tori got bit by a goat and needed a band aid and Jared ended up wearing my flip flops because my tennis shoes he was wearing were rubbing a blister on his heel. Yep....his foot is almost as big as mine. He's a little surprised by that but I've reassured him that one day he will most likely be taller than me so no worries on the big foot.

We continue to bond together as a family and are enjoying making memories together!

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Can you out give God?

If you have been a follower of Christ for any length of time and stepped out in faith then you know the answer to this question. If you are not a follower or have never stepped out of the boat you might not have experienced God's generosity.

I am here to tell you we have had the privilege of being the recipients of God's giving and it is impossible to out give God. That is just the cold hard fact. Many of you know up until a month a go we were a family of 4 with 2 boys. If you are a boy mom you know boys wear jeans, t-shirts and tennis shoes....basic stuff and not a lot of options. There are no stores devoted just to young boy clothes......boys just get your basic items. I am aware that some may disagree but this has been my experience. My boys are content with one pair of flip flops and one pair of tennis shoes, they don't need flip flops in every color. So you can imagine when we had the opportunity to add 2 girls to our family one of the first "faith challenges" that hit me was "how can we afford 2 girls, they don't just have one pair of shoes". Let me tell you God spoke to my heart immediately and said "TRUST ME". God has been speaking that to my heart for a while now and I pray that I am getting it.

I'm not saying we have the answer to how we can afford 2 girls being added to our family but I can tell you God has been faithful to show up and bless us in monetary ways through His people. We really were overwhelmed last night when some of our church family, friends and family showered us with gifts. We were just overwhelmed with the generosity of His people. We don't want to take for granted any item given to us. We know the sacrifices people make to give and especially during these difficult economic times. Our hearts are so full, we continue to be blown away with all of the treasures given to us.

A little girl that will be in 3rd grade next year gave us her doll house with all of the dolls and furniture to go in the girls room. A family that has a kindergartner, 2nd grader and 5th grader gave us their kitchen, table and chairs, and food to go in our playroom. A mother of 2 teenage girls gave us some dress-up clothes, jewelry and easy bake oven. A mother of 4 girls gave us some wonderful hand-me-downs. Each item given to us is a treasure that we value so much because it is a gift from God. We have no doubts when we are given anything it is directly from God .

God is trustworthy. I have heard that fear is saying I have more faith in ????? than I have in God. I will try in more postings to give you glimpses of our journey and let you see how God has just continued to confirm that adding 2 girls to our family is not by chance or coincidence but by His plan.

The girls were given their very own bibles last night and they are so very proud of them. Right now as I write the youngest one is leading the others in bible study. I can hear Jared say we can have bible study every night. I am listening to them reciting the books of the new testament. Wow, I love hearing them all wanting to read the bible and actually fighting over who gets to read. We will settle this like we've done with most things: Even numbered days; girls feed the dog, shower downstairs, pray in their room, and now read the bible......odd numbered days; boys feed the dog, shower downstairs, pray in their room and now read the bible. The olders get to sit in the middle row in the van on odd days and the littles sit in the middle on the even days. It is amazing that little system is saving us from some arguments.

My life is full and our family is loved and surrounded by the most amazing people on the planet! I love each and everyone of you and so very grateful to God for your generosity to my family.

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Just in Case you Ever Wonder?

God is amazing and I'm not just saying that to be all spiritual but I mean I am slack jawed mouth wide open amazed. We have had many of those moments in our journey with adding the girls to our family so really and truly I shouldn't even be surprised when God shows up and takes care of whatever it is that needs to be handled. I know you're biting your nails and wondering what.......what......what is it this time?


Well maybe you know and maybe you don't but legally right now we have nothing with the girls, they are still in the care of the guardians but they are living with us. We are assuming responsibilities as parents and operating as a family under God but not under the law. To me not a big deal because I know eventually the law will catch up to what God has already put together but the school district is kind of on the law side. You know something about their rules and regs. Our precious attorney contacted *&%#@ and their response was "We can admit them if you get a court order or you can request an emergency transfer but we can't guarantee they will get the school you want". And of course they prefer we request the transfer. Are you kidding me?


Well if you know the district we're in, having the girls go to another school is just not a feasible situation since I have 2 boys in one school and having the girls in 2 opposite schools would be a logistical stresser. I called the guardians and asked them to have their attorney go to the Judge and request the court order. Our attorney wrote up all the paperwork and sent it off to theirs so no worries. Since all the attorneys involved didn't see a problem with getting the court order we really weren't worried. Any who....I attend our city's Chamber Luncheon held on the High School Campus and sitting next to me is the man that our precious attorney had spent 45 minutes with on the phone trying to figure out a solution to our legal dilemma. Can you believe that, there were probably 15 tables full of people and I'm sitting next to the man that can take care of all my enrollment issues.

I casually said to him after he introduced himself to me.."Oh I think you're the one my attorney spoke with..do you handle transfers with enrollment?" He said yes indeed he was but hadn't heard anything back. I then proceeded to tell him we were getting a court order because having a transfer with no guarantee they would go to the campus I needed would just not work since I already have 2 in *&%#@. He nodded along sympathetically and then asked me what exactly our status was with the girls. After telling him he offered to get me some forms I would need in order to have information released to me. Very nice man and very helpful. I didn't rant on him how absurd I thought *&%#@ was for saying they couldn't guarantee me the girls would be at the schools I needed. I mean really if you're about kids what would be in their best interest? Oh well no worries because we're going to get the order.

I immediately call our attorney and tell her of my chance meeting with the man and of course she like me is amazed that God orchestrated all of that. Now that's cool right there in itself but the story doesn't end there. Maybe 30 minutes later our attorney calls me and says she just got off the phone with the *&%#@ and after the man met me he went to the Superintendent and they both agreed it was in the best interest of the girls to grant an emergency transfer to the campus I needed! Is your jaw wide open? Mine sure was, I mean really can you believe it? God didn't need to do all that, because later I get a call from the guardians informing me the Judge signed the court order to make *&%#@ admit our girls to the school we need!

So when I say God really has already put us together as a family you can see why I say that! He just continues to show up and amaze me. I know I shouldn't be amazed but really and truly I am, it is jaw-dropping! Our journey continues.....we are loving all the twists and turns, well maybe "loving" isn't exactly the best word to describe our feeling but we do love seeing God so boldly working on behalf of these two little girls! He is Good and Yes All the Time!

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